The Mayonnaise Murders 1
by Keith A. Owens
Whoever killed Johnny Beardy ruined a perfectly good sandwich in the process. I was hungry when I found him, so that's the first thing that came to my mind.
For the record, my name is Vid. It's short for a name you don't wanna bother trying to pronounce if you're from Earth. Anyway, I solve problems. It's not what I always did, but things change, and here I am—stuck up to my gills in other critters' problems on good ole Planet 10.
Once again, if you're an Earthling reading this, I meant that literally. You folks have a habit of making up cute little sayings and whatnot. Working your tail off. Sweatin’ like a pig. Up to your neck in.
This ain't one of those. I have gills. Deal with it.
On Planet 10, pork is fine, but mayonnaise is illegal. Used as an essential ingredient in the highly addictive drug MayoMadd, mayonnaise has long been banned for the safety of the colonies, which have been free of the MayoMadd craze for years. So then, where did the mayonnaise come from? And who has enough pull to get it delivered to Planet 10? Or is somebody manufacturing it, and if so, where are they getting the ingredients? Is sandwich spread really that important to a critter, and where does a dead rock star fit into all this?
That’s what Vid has to find out, with more than a little help from Vee, a shapely news reporter with no shortage of attitude and an arsenal of quick comebacks wrapped in as much barbed wire as humor. What they eventually uncover is the biggest story of Vee’s career. Still, it could also pose one of the biggest threats to Earth’s teenagers, especially those with a taste for chemical thrills. The whole twisted affair could turn both Vid and Vee into wanted criminals just for playing too close to the fire.
More books by Keith A. Owens
The Mayonnaise Murders 2
Part 2
The saga continues as a crew of angry mutant chickens collaborate with the critters from Planet 10 and a group of ambitious drug dealers in Denver to inflict the alien drug MayoMadd upon a planet of unsuspecting humans as revenge on behalf of the human/chicken hybrids for an experiment that went horribly wrong. This is science fiction/fantasy/detective mystery with a lot of humor thrown in for one wild, offbeat ride.
Mayonnaise Murders 3
Part 3
On Planet 10, mayonnaise is illegal. Used as an essential ingredient in the highly addictive drug MayoMadd, mayonnaise has long been banned for the safety of the colonies, which have been free of the MayoMadd craze for years. So then, where did the mayonnaise come from? And who had enough pull to sneak it back in? Or is somebody manufacturing it, and if so, where are they getting the ingredients? And who is behind the new drug Roscoe 21? Why is this happening?
That’s what Vid, a dry-witted detective from Planet 10’s wretched Vivacious 5 sector, has to find out together with his partner Vee, the former star news reporter from The Daily Screamer. Vee comes fully equipped with no shortage of attitude and an arsenal of quick comebacks wrapped in as much barbed wire as humor. What they eventually uncover could have been the biggest story of Vee’s career. Unfortunately, it could also pose one of the biggest threats to Earth’s purebred population, whose hated existence is being targeted by a revenge-obsessed army of freakish chicken/human hybrids originally created for experimental purposes by purebred scientists and then disposed of – except for those who managed to survive the purge.
A chicken’s revenge can be a terrible thing.
Detroit Stories Quarterly Winter/Spring 2026
This is the 7th anniversary of DSQ, a quarterly magazine featuring Detroit-themed science fiction, fantasy and horror.
Fire and Wanda
A young Black man's journey of self discovery. Raised in the predominantly white city of Denver, Alton embarks on a sometimews harrowing and other times comical journey in search of what it is supposed to mean to be Black as one who has never felt quite Black enough.