What We Do To Women

What happens when the game finally stops?

For years, Anthony Jae Gonzalez lived by a mindset many men recognize but few are willing to openly admit. It’s the mindset shaped by environment, experience, and the unwritten rules passed down through generations of men about relationships, power, and control.

The game.

In What We Do to Women: The Mind, The Game, The Reckoning, Gonzalez pulls back the curtain on the mentality behind the “player lifestyle” and the cultural influences that help create it. Through brutally honest storytelling and deeply personal reflections, he explores how upbringing, environment, and early experiences shape the way men approach women and relationships.

This book isn’t about blaming women.

It’s about confronting the mindset many men develop long before they fully understand its consequences.

Growing up in Brooklyn, surrounded by different influences and lessons about masculinity, Gonzalez absorbed ideas about relationships that many young men are exposed to but rarely question. Over time, those lessons evolved into patterns of behavior that affected not only the women in his life, but also the man he eventually became.

In this powerful and reflective memoir, he revisits the moments that shaped his thinking and the experiences that forced him to look at those beliefs differently.

Inside this book, readers will discover:

• How environment and upbringing influence how men view relationships
• The psychology behind the “player mentality” many men adopt
• The cultural messages young men absorb about women and power
• The emotional consequences that follow when relationships become a game
• The moment when a man begins to question the life he has been living

What makes What We Do to Women unique is its honesty.

Gonzalez doesn’t hide behind excuses or attempt to rewrite his past. Instead, he examines it head-on, acknowledging the mistakes, the lessons learned, and the realization that comes when a man begins to see the bigger picture.

The book explores an uncomfortable truth: many men are taught the rules of the game before they are ever taught the value of real connection. And by the time they begin to understand the damage those rules can cause, the consequences are already in motion.

This is not a book about glorifying the lifestyle.

It’s a book about understanding it.

And ultimately, learning from it.

What We Do to Women is a thought-provoking and deeply personal exploration of relationships, accountability, and the journey toward self-awareness. It challenges readers to reflect on the influences that shape their beliefs and the impact those beliefs have on others.

Raw. Honest. Reflective.

This is the story of the mind behind the game—and the reckoning that follows.